lovegrows.com

kampongzai

2011-12-10T12:15:00.001-08:00

It's been like months back when things are starting to fall apart. From I honestly don't remember what. Today, is definitely the worst. In a way, being known all of them for so long, I've been in the comfort zone. I didn't put inside my heart knowing this are always and has been this way.

Was having headache and wanting to sleep. Until Kaelyn wants to talk about her concerns bout Dad and Mom. then I received the direct message in twitter, jet to realize something has happened. Opened my Facebook KAMPONG group. I didn't want to wait any longer. Question has to be asked to get answers. Pointless to wait, right?

All I'm doing now, is waiting for Jeremy to wake up. I'm gonna cry soon. I just need him right now. Then I shall get some sleep. This is plain insane.

Makes me truly wonder, how further more are we gonna walk and still stay as KAMPONG?

I'm just too afraid.

Cheers,
HuiJin Liew

ihatethis

2011-04-30T09:41:00.000-07:00

i've not seen anyone off before. you are the first. ihatethisfeeling. i know imma see you in the near future, but i didnt like the fact you aint gonna be there when i need someone to talk to.

damn. i'm gonna miss you and i really mean it.

i guess there will be more farewell's in the future.

i'll miss them, for sure. miss them like mad.

but i understand. You need goodbyes for greater hellos.

HuiJin Liew

humanthing.

2011-04-01T02:45:00.000-07:00

i wonder maybe i shouldn't count the eggs before they hatch. Cuz honestly i really thought i had a happy Sunday last week. Cuz i woke up happy, everything was going so fine, until something happened. damn, i just hate when Sunday Blue overwhelms me. :(

i'm a total upset bitch, showing faces.

i didn't mean it, but i couldn't lie.

so, forget bout Sunday. we go on to Monday where something really special happened.

Monday morning, i was still in the midst of getting Sunday of my mind. i go classes and be ordinary like shit. Until i went to DSA and walked pass my friend. He saw me less that 5 seconds and he doesn't have a twitter which makes it impossible for him to know i'm upset cuz i don't write in FaceBook, yet he asked me,

"You look so upset. Very upset."

i stunned. and i almost want to hug him and cry. just that i didn't.

The feeling that someone really took notice about your emotional changes make me feel so touched.

That's a human thing.

and his name, is Reza.

HuiJin Liew

istillbelieve.

2011-03-08T06:00:00.000-08:00

Yeah. tomorrow is where the application to Singapore Polytechnic is opened. :(

The day i once anticipated.

Past tense, thats right.

At times, it's really difficult for me to stay focus. i fly around nowadays. God knows. He knows too how much i want to go Singapore. yeah. so what? thats how exactly financial status can stop you going where you want. Who now dare says money ain't important?!

i really want to enjoy every second i have here. but it's like so difficult. WHY?

I'm upset these few days. maybe its gonna prolong anyway.

Where're you when i need you most?

HuiJin Liew

unexpected.

2011-02-28T07:17:00.000-08:00

things often come and go. relationships too. funny to know how things are linked together, how small the world is.

but how small the world is, even if i stood in front of you,

if you never cared,

you don't see me after all.

HuiJin Liew

Screw The Singapore Plan.

2011-02-19T22:45:00.000-08:00

Yeap, i was trying to blog this up with my baby iphone but failed cuz i can type at this very important section. =.=

Yeaaaaa....i have to screw my very very very wanted to Singapore Plan. In case if you don;t know what was going on, NOPE, i'm not planning for a trip to Singapore but to further study there. At first, looking at the fees earlier, with the tuition grant they offer with just to sign a bond, working there for three years is simply seducing. i really wanted to go. so, i planned on it. However, on the other hand i have Nottingham or other colleges back in Malaysia which is as good as Singapore's. Back to square one, the question often comes back to finances. If i go to Singapore i'll need my dad to fork out money for me whereas in Malaysia, that is only if i can get scholarship, it's all gonna be good here. but that the thing. IF i get scholarship. i mean FULL scholarship cuz half or 75% just is still a lot.

So yeah, when i knew that Singapore is such a good place to go further. i mean, i don't mind working my ass off everyday there and have to leave behind so many things here. Its the future that matters the most to me. And suddenly i found out the fees increased for the coming intake. daymnnn!!!! its an increase of about RM4000 ++ .

To know i had no choice but to drop the idea of going Singapore is kinda sad. cuz i really want to go. It'll be great if i have no financial difficulties. i'll fly high. oh well, looking at the bright side, maybe i could get a scholarship here. i mean, better still? right? RIGHT??

Aikss.

Screw Singapore.

Yeah. That's all i want to say.

Cuz i couldn;t blog at the time, when i rewrite it, i don't have that much to say anymore.

HuiJin Liew

keepingitup

2011-01-30T09:32:00.000-08:00

Heellooo peeppss!

Good days, cuz its raining at night till the next morning. Awesommee.!

Anyway, i'm having to events done. Just gotto push myself to keep you guys updated on the page on sodapiink.blogspot.

p/s i changed my layout for it though. have a look and see if i did fine or i should change it again. =)

So just wait, Cuz CNY around the corner. have been busy all the while but, blog shall remain alive no matter what happens. Staying strong ;) Just it'll take some time. maybe tomorrow i'll get it up in the sodapiink page.

HuiJin Liew @ Sapphire.

badhairday

2011-01-14T03:22:00.000-08:00

you know what really sucks?

thats when i can't even say words i want to say.

i'm taking in so much i guess i will, perhaps definitely explode sooner or later.

this is so fucked up.

yeah yeah, i'm wrong i'm wrong, i'm ALWAYS wrong.

whatever fuck i did was always NEVER right.

i always fuck you up all the time huh?!

thats why i'm born a bitch right?

this is sooooo annoying sial!

i didn't wanna tear my blog writing all these, but i can speak to no one.

cuz if i do, its just gonna make things worst

no one would agree with me that i can be as fucked up as i am now..

Screw it.

HuiJin Liew

History

2011-01-01T04:45:00.000-08:00

History never fails to repeat itself.

i thought it is over. guess i'm a little too optimistic. Here's the second wave!

:Life's tough, ain't it?

maybe not now, perhaps later i'lllet you know the detail what am i babbling about.

i'm tired.

HuiJin Liew@Sapphire

cheats

2010-11-12T07:26:00.000-08:00

i think everyone cheated on blogger. LOL

it seems like the updates are lesser and lesser. just like mine!

but no worries, i won;t forget you. well, the truth is, i'm having the weirdest day ever, i'm already so fucked up, i still have to pretend like nothing is wrong. THATS not it.

listentome.

you're the cup of tea i do not want to drink.

you're too green for me.

HuiJin Liew

heartsforyou

2010-10-19T07:16:00.000-07:00

why do you two have similar names?

can you be spelled the other way round?

why do you two act almost the same?

can't either one of you don't walk like you're flying?

i've got a feeling that i want to heart you for some time.

HuiJin Liew

theweirddays

2010-10-12T06:44:00.000-07:00

its weird. really weird.

1st, i want to say, i had a very extremely crazzieee dream.

erm...i don't really want to put them in words. cuz i repeated this dream a few times to different people. i'm scared if i pen it down, it stay in my brain forever. =.=

2nd, i want to say, i had a hectic time. well, as usual. i always never stop blogging about his huh?

It's so bad, that i only had breads like everyday in college. i never left the subway of HELPUC. ngek ngek~

3rd, its her birthday few days ago. funny that i didn't realise.

i only realise i'm feeling bad. just terrible, not in any mood for anything. soon too realise its her birthday. shootts~

don't tell me that its gonna haunt me for long

but anyway, glad to see her smile, like there were never before.

HuiJin Liew

gaga

2010-10-02T06:07:00.001-07:00

grrrr~! GAGA!

that's the new word, okay?!

i cannot stop saying that all the time. anyway, just want to say

my mind seems so packed up with i don;t know what?

Foo said i look like i have a lot of things to do.

the truth is, yeah, i suppose to!

but i do not know why i can't start anything.

=.=

HuiJin Liew

2010-09-17T07:47:00.002-07:00

Adding Colours

2010-09-17T06:50:00.000-07:00

Look Out Point...is .....boring!

true enough that the scene of KL is Awwsome! but, boringla...cuz i don't like Gasoline. =P

The Shot: Chosen Ones

Scene: Kuala Lumpur

HuiJin Liew @ Sapp

2010-09-12T20:06:00.000-07:00

i did a few things causing a whole lot of commission lately.
well, be angry as you wish. didn;t have the energy to bother though.

HuiJin Liew

Less Than 3

2010-09-10T07:58:00.000-07:00

I had my birthday surprise today.

Yeah yeah! my birthday was on 4sept. But my dear master Foo made something so cute for me. ^^

Thanks dear! =)

As usual, my birthday, i am very emo. NO. suppose i should say emo-tionless. Cuz the truth is, i really was never in the mood for my own birthday. Funny huh? do i hate myself so much?? LOL. Anyway, i never want to disappoint anyone by pulling a face, so i did go with them, so they can celebrate for me. hahaha! =P

I was in my dad's workshop cuz my baby Kelisa needs to change oil and tyre and need some cleaning. So i sent it to my dad's workshop and i waited there. While the rest of them all at pavilion, waiting for me. Sorry dear! i didn't mean it. Can you imagine? the birthday girl isn't there. LMAO.. i know you guys love me. teehee!

iloveyou!

HuiJin Liew @Sapp

Calculus

2010-09-03T07:57:00.000-07:00

for a moment or two, i think i felt stupid again. i didn't like the fact how he looked at me, knowing good enough it means i'm in jeopardy. again, i felt, working too hard may kill myself. but i've not thought of an alternative. one thing i'm glad is that i knew i will have good night sleep until my first test for Calculus comes. my conscience allows me to sleep tight for a few nights.

until today, when i received my pre-test on PRE-CALCULUS, i scored less than half. and that really sucks. Yeah, true maybe my brain rusted, but FYI i'm teaching Maths tuition for almost a year already! Cow bullshitt.!

Calculus had given me so far, the biggest pressure, despite of English, where it always does scare me. Critical thinking don't seem to get any better. i have no idea, man...i was hoping for a better semester, just to realise i'm kinda bored. i don't really know why.. =(

gotto work my own ass off!

HuiJin Liew @ Sapp

re-start.

2010-08-27T20:53:00.001-07:00

It's been very long since i last blog. Well, i'm blogging, but photo blogging. Written blog is very rare to me. Lazy...is one, another is lacking of interesting topics to talk about.

But the consequences of not blogging, is that i'm talking to myself. I mean..mentally talking. =P So i think i should start re-blogging before i go ga-ga. Semester 2 is about to start, and i'm not looking too forward for it, but it's gonna be hectic for sure. I'm teaching tuitions and schedule is insanity! is like serious shit.

HuiJin Liew @Sapp

July Shots.

2010-08-05T07:44:00.000-07:00

Pasar Malam@ LeisureMall

Marcus@ Old Town White Coffee Midah

Shera @ Old Town White Coffee Midah

Andre@ Puma Pavilion

Group Shot @ Pavilion Corridor

Birthday Cake @ TGiF

Cream Soup @ TGiF

HuiJin Liew

June Shots.

2010-07-10T07:08:00.000-07:00

The Shot: Wisma HELP

Purpose: Testing Danson's Flash

The Shot: Prism

Purpose: Leisure and Testing the lens

HuiJin Liew

In memories of

2010-06-05T05:24:00.000-07:00

31 May 2010. That night, every thing was settling down and Uncle was sent to the parlour for prayers. It was raining heavily that night. I went forward to pay my respect and decided to take a look at him. when i was walking towards his coffin, I felt a surge of coldness. I look away a second later.

Then, the night went on. i watched people come and go, paying their last respect. Not everyone went to look at my Uncle when he is in the coffin. My dad didn't. My other 2 uncle didn't too.

i realise, my uncles and my father

just ain't ready yet for this.

1 June 2010. Things seemed to look settled. But sometimes, we get a little tired somehow.

2June 2010. we got up early in the morning, because this is D'Day.

The Day, where things burnt to ashes.

When we got there, its already 8something. I saw tears. i thought we were getting over it. I was wrong. It's crashing down back on me suddenly.

they sat and talked back about the past, talked back about my Uncle.

'He never smiled to us, until recently.He's changed.'

When it was about time, we, whom are younger than my Uncle are suppose to pray, while the elders shouldn't be looking (part of the beliefs)

1st, we placed our palm on his chest, telling him anything we want to say. I planned what to say before it was my turn. But once my hand got there...

i froze.

After our turn, the elders turn. They were only allowed to have a last peep. Then i heard cries and i looked up. I shouldn't be.

i saw tears in my dad's eyes.

Before the prayers begin, we were asked to look down. We did as i assume its a sign of mourning. Soon, i realise...that wasn't the only reason. i heard knocks...then i knew what happen.

They're closing the coffin.

I can't help it...but the sound is too disturbing. no one dared to look up at all. The prayers continue..and then, the coffin soon boarded on the Van and we are on the way to the cemetery.

We prayed for the last time there.. We kneel, and his eldest son, pressed a particular button which will carry the coffin down to cremation section.

My dad, my other uncle did not went down with us. We went down. As we watch the coffin in there, its no longer okay. My aunts is almost half screaming, i didn't know why, i cant help but cried too. But i told myself to suck it up, to sent him off.

The fire set.

They allow us to watch the fire burn, then seconds later close it. I opened my eyes, not even to blink, i watch it burn. then, I turned and saw my cousin brother crying.

He weren't close to his father. Not once. Not young ago. Not yet. But he had cried, like it or not.

HuiJin Liew

time that won't turn back.

2010-06-03T01:29:00.000-07:00

life's short ain't it?

having told my fifth uncle was sick...

nothing much strike me for i believe he ain;t gonna leave this early.

He's only 51.

It's been a month. He was in and out of the hospital. Surgery on bla blaa.My father up and down, perhaps even all over to care for his here and there. My father would bring us once in a while to visit him in the hospital.

It is for once, he talked to us. he taught my sis the way to hold a rifle. Cuz that day, she went for paint ball.

earlier after his surgery, everything seemed so fine. He lied awake, so energized. days later, he got into fever. Hospitalized again. He got so thin...dare not say a word. Once, we're there after the doctor left. The doctor left his health report behind. My sis and i took a peep. Just want to know what the hell is goin on. Uncle said, "Don't read, after the doctor scold!" We shut it. But i manage to read a sentence.

Colon Cancer.

Cancer cannot be cured, but can be controlled. What i didn't manage to read, was the severity. it's been years my father said, he's having this pain in the intestine. He insisit not to seek help from a doctor. "just wind, Just wind" And thats it..

Then almost 2 weeks, he got out of the hospital. then back not long after that, because he had a serious nose bleed. It didn;t stop. One month in the hospital, he got out at last. The whole month, nothing much the doctor did, but much my father did. Uncle says he didn;t like the food. Not appetizing at all. My mom cooked porridge etc. while my father running up and down , to and fro from the hospital everyday for him. He insist to the doctor to let him out of the hospital since nothing is being done. Thinking back again, perhaps he's afraid he can't get back home again,

One week soon, after he left the place, on Wednesday, my father brought him over to Seremban. Hearsathat there's a 'GOD'. My dad decided to seek for his help. He will not hesitate to tire himself if his brother could recover. Massages etc was done. He looked so fine, there's light in our eyes.

On Friday night, 28 May 2010, my parents as usual went to visit and see if he's okay. We stayed at home. dad didn't return home that night. The next morning, we found out he was hospitalized again.

We rushed to the hospital.

My mom told us what had happned.

The night before, he looked very pale. He tried to speak but there's nothing audible. My mom saw his foot. She compare them to as white as an A4 paper.

3.00am, my mom said, the heart stopped beating. Doctors tried to revive him. And God bless, he came back. tubes and all the machinery objects are placed all over him; even in him. Since my dad had made the decision to keep him breathing until all Uncle's brothers and sisters are here, there's no way we can pull it out and end his sufferings.

Saturday, 29 May 2010. All of us were there. My Aunts and Uncles and their kids. My mother urge us immediately to see him first thing we reached the hospital. All i saw, was nothing but machines. i walked off soon after that. My mom said, he's now even more stabil. Before we've come, my parents witness his sufferings maybe the worst. Mom said, even my father could not be there more than a minute. The doctor said, there's nothing could be done but to wait for the time. We were there all the hour. We didn't left until dad says we should.

Sunday, 30 May 2010. My father says he seemed to be alright. Much better than the night before. the breathe was much stabil.

Thats was the moment i believe in Miracles.

Perhaps, the only moment.

That night, my sister wanted to go to see Uncle as well. My dad said no. we should stay put since we have class on the next day. But we both cant sleep until it was around 2am maybe.

Alas, i know why.

31 May 2010. My parents return when me and my sis were getting ready for college. I saw their car, i suppose Uncle haven't left. I casually asked mom, "How's Uncle?"

He passed away.

Mom again, told us all the bits that happened. My mom said, when it was 1.00am, his condition really got worst. So everyone was there, nobody dare to leave yet. They want to be there just in case. every now and then. my mom would go and have a look. Because the entry late in the night was not allowed. Only one at a time. Almost 2.00am, My mom saw the beats on the screen is dropping drastically..

110, 93, 71..

My mom took no risk, and shouted for the others to enter.

Everyone was there, Uncle saw them, and as he closed his eyes and made his last breathe, tears flowed from his eyes.

2010-05-30T03:56:00.000-07:00

I said: praying hard for i-don't-know-what. I knew what was it now.
Miracles

College

2010-05-22T06:02:00.000-07:00

i have not update here for...erm, very long?

haha~ sory peeps..

i'm busy with my other blog.

So well, what happen to me?

So far so good, nothing real great! but nothing real bad.. besides the fact...

1) that some company haven't pay me

2) i haven't got used to college

3) i'm dying trying to keep focus and drop the subject that i-suck-my-spm, therefore i-shall-still-suck-my-preU concept =.=

so sad?

There's more. but i'm not gonna make this an emo blog. I'll stop with that, although i'm still not over it. Lmao.

Okay, College.. well it fine. Nice people...from MARCH intake, sadly. April intakes are..icy cold

and i don't like that. I'm trying well, cuz i'm so bored sometimes, no particular idea why. i feel like going out to shop than to study!

too much pressure *chehwaa

p/s Danson Hoh got a scratch. T.T

HuiJin Liew

2010-05-09T02:02:00.000-07:00

Did not update for a long time here. better put something in. LOL

The Shot: Marcus

Location: Lea's House

Occasion: May Birthdays

The Shot: Goofy

Location: Sam's car.

Occasion: April Birthdays

HuiJin Liew

so close yet so far

2010-04-18T09:43:00.000-07:00

so close yet so far... what's it? everything IS!

gonne go EMO soon.

starting to feel my confidence crushing down. and thats bad news, man.

My SPM results is so close but not enough..but thats rather expected la and YEAH! i'm still so not over it yet.. !
Then, there goes my scholarship offer. I'm seriously just a call away. I guess i lost it.
So, there goes my course. I'm might drop the subject i intend to take initially because i don't have the fund,then i don't find a reason to insist rationally. =.=
Then, there goes my luck. i missed the lucky draw from my 1st event in Nuffs. My name was called, i'm there, but not really there. [i'm in Times Square but not yet at the area of the Street Fair.]

i don't like to feel lacking of confidence. it's pathetic.

but i felt it right now?

sympathetic?

HuiJin Liew

we struggle.

2010-04-03T10:40:00.000-07:00

Not that i'm being proud of myself..but i really do believe my ability to analyse is very good. when it comes to decision making, its always, pros and cons...then me myself. Maybe i was born selfish, i always think of myself first.

But its has come to the point, i doubt my about-to-make decision for once. What again? College case.

Its the money factor, the image factor, the pressure factor, the self factor.

I wanted to study there, but i have to pay a whole rather than another college which offers me zero payment. To consider for my parents, a zero payment would be great, don't you think so? cuz i do. But me myself had a decision in mind. a decision that would take time for me to change. i didn't want to study there. i didn't want to study in a college i don't want to, i had no intention to.

Being totally pushed to the level where i were to be selfish again, i wouldn't know if i would regret all life. regret cuz i made a decision that my parents against. To be honest, they weren't young anymore, and i'm scared sometimes...i do.

My fathers friends were very nice. They say my father is a honest man, a Samaritan. He says if i do engineering, i would definitely have made them real proud. He says if i want, and if i cant afford the cost, he'll loan me at zero interest.

My mother was displease to know i didn't want to do engineering; or career she consider professional. we didn't talk for a few days. So i didn't want to think about it either. i get very tired because the reasons is always there...will always be there.

i felt weak. couldn't even handle simple pressure like this. I use to be very sure of what i want...but i'm starting to lose myself.

HuiJin Liew

2010-03-27T02:00:00.000-07:00

People say you only fall in love once, but when I hear your voice I fall in love all over again.

There are times when I fall in love with someone new, but I always seem to find myself back in love with you.

Never follow my steps cause i bang into walls. Never look me in the eyes, cause i will tend to kiss you.

遇见你是一种缘分, 认识你是一种选择, 爱上你是我无法控制得.

HuiJin Liew

2010-03-24T22:11:00.000-07:00

Round is the new shape of Love.

HuiJin Liew

2010-03-14T11:04:00.000-07:00

i think parents are worried creatures when their kids fail to hit the target.

i felt sorry but i can't help it. I cant help but failing...

He sat next to me almost every night right after the results day; 11 March.

He didn't say mu results was bad, but i can see the disappointment all over his face. How frustrated he felt for i can't attain results good enough to stand on my own.

i guess his worries might lead me into the wrong direction. i'm starting to get very frustrated, i might lose my mind. =.=

Figures is killing me. You don't see them coming do you?

HuiJin Liew

2010-03-12T08:03:00.000-08:00

这会是我一辈子得遗憾.
遗憾我一时得错,
好让我今日如此心疼.
心疼我自己, 只差那么得一点点.
心疼我父母, 为我担心钱得事.

听起来, 9A'S 就是好. 外人是不会明白得.
我知道好, 可是够吗?
我自问我自己, 聪明却不够聪明, 笨又不够笨.
还我现在不上也不下.
让我忐忑不安.

爸爸担心得很.
怕我学费会工我上大学. 我懂, 超懂.
虽然开口说没关系, 可明明心理很担心. 让我觉得我太希望了.
我无话可说.
只好默默得加油.

HuiJin Liew

2010-03-02T07:06:00.001-08:00

today, i went to check over Taylors and Help again. It's si hard to make up my mind.

Taylor's Scholarships offerings are low. 8 A's, meaning A-, A or A+ is ignored. As long as i can get 8A's, I my foundation will be subsidized to 50% while degree 30%.

HELP Scholarships offerings on the other hand, is 9A/A+. Meaning, i must get 9 A1's. Then my foundation is supported fully by HELP. But then my degree will have to depend on my performance in my foundation. >.<>

Aiks. So stuck. anyway, p/s i'm writing my scholarship essay. So difficult to start...to continue, and to end.

How i wish i were born in a silver spoon

HuiJin Liew

Insomniac

2010-03-01T00:49:00.000-08:00

my girlfriend is back. she went missing for a few months. she just returned.

her name is Nia. You can call her Insomnia, as for full.

=.=

i do think i knew the reason why.

It's march! normal right for fifth-formers? Lol

i'm about to have my driving test..which is gonna be crazy cuz i suck.
results is about to be revealed.
i'm running out of cash. =.=

So what happened?

i have constipation,. i get insomnia, my menstrual period ran out of order. Great!

=.=

Nothing that i can do..had to try to calm down and hope things turn out fine. =]

HuiJin Liew

2010-02-24T09:28:00.001-08:00

When we meet again...

HuiJin Liew

reStart

2010-02-21T00:34:00.000-08:00

i felt that i have changed...again.

i guess i grew a lil more mature. i'm was a kid who use not to like listening to people teaching m what to do. [not that i listened now] but at least slightly better. besides that, i began to love making new friends. My ex-colleagues thought me well.

i guess i can survive being alone at times. i never like to be alone because my surroundings sounds dead. well, maybe because Danson is with me. So i'm cool with it. But i'm really getting use to be alone nowadays.

i guess my relationship with my family wasn't bad after all. Well, i mean i think thats the reason why i mention i'm more mature now. How i use to shut myself up in the house. Lol. We watch movies together and talk bad bout people sometimes. >.<

i guess i don't need my phone. i left my phone behind whenever i go out nowadays. maybe because i know no one will be looking for me. it has stop playing its role for days now. it's when i really believe, i don't need it anymore.

But they are still things that never changed.

the thought of Money is important.
how jealous i am to know that rich people can afford things they want, can enter college they want ignoring the great amount of fees...ignoring the outcome of the exam. I really want to get a part-time where i can work when i'm in college, but it not easy to handle this. if i flung my papers, worst still.

the fact that i love shopping.

if you knew me well enough you might notice that i often peep at accessories, bags and nevertheless~! HEELS. yes yes, true that i don't wear them, but i do assist my sisters and mum when it is to purchase. =] As for bags, it has always been my favourite. Lol.

HuiJin Liew

My New Toy

2010-02-17T09:15:00.000-08:00

Just before Chinese New Year i met him. My New Toy.

Let me introduce to you,

erm...haven't found a perfect name for him. =]

suggestions?? Lol.

HuiJin Liew

2010-02-11T18:07:00.000-08:00

i was here for Valentine's last year.
i am here for Valentines again this year.

HuiJin Liew

2010-02-06T08:53:00.001-08:00

again, i saw things i shoudn't. Now that i realise, every act has its side effects. and i guess mine to her, was pretty harsh.

there's a word for it,

To Sprinkle Salts On Her Scar.
yet, i have no remedy for her

HuiJin Liew

2010-02-02T00:23:00.000-08:00

What's in between both of us, ain't no truth.
What's connecting both of us, ain't no phone.

HuiJin Liew

2010-02-02T00:22:00.001-08:00

Rumour: This is an EMO blog
Fact: This is an EXPRESSIVE blog

HuiJin Liew

2010-01-31T08:10:00.000-08:00

We Start. We Talk. We Meet. We Love. We Fight. We Break. We End. Or Did We??

I guess, i'm about to get'ya honey! =]

HuiJin Liew

2010-01-28T07:40:00.000-08:00

People do get upset.
it's the frequency that matters.

p/s i saw the vacancy for Starbucks BARISTA~! gonna call tomorrow. wish me lucks.. =]

HuiJin Liew

2010-01-26T20:47:00.000-08:00

i ran around myself yesterday. i mean, not really ran. i just tour around the Bukit Bintang area. so i visit my babe working in Parkson Pavilion. Then i looked around for clothes and also camera. I'm kinda like don't know which camera to buy in considering of my budget. I'm for real this time. i'm gonna throw a whole for the dslr.

No Pain No Gain.
No Investment No Profit

you ask of the content,
you forgot the author.

HuiJin Liew

2010-01-21T22:37:00.000-08:00

if it was an early gift, perhaps things would have turn out differently. turn out the way you hoped it was. but it didn't.

i guess it was suppose to be this way.
i wish you, every-a-happy-day.

HuiJin Liew

2010-01-20T09:42:00.000-08:00

If it's yours, it's yours.

2010-01-10T07:51:00.000-08:00

Word of the day: Mute

HuiJin Liew

2010-01-07T09:04:00.000-08:00

i want to talk to you,
so, please...talk to me.

HuiJin Liew

2010-01-06T08:00:00.000-08:00

i thought, after so long things had happen... i thought, i really thought i can talk to you again. but i was wrong. it's worst than anything else i have felt. i felt bad. i felt my breathe was heavier, i felt my heart was heavier. i hoped the laptop run dead.

i hope i fail to post this.
but i did

HuiJin Liew

2010-01-05T10:34:00.000-08:00

you never tell me your secrets.
maybe because i never tell you mine.

HuiJin Liew

2010-01-04T09:16:00.000-08:00

you know whats funny?

is when i miss you, you're always absent.

Hearts don't heal. They rust. -Sulin Lau-

HuiJin Liew

2009.

2009-12-31T08:38:00.000-08:00

It's tata to 2009 and halo 2010!

i'll miss the year, the people the fun, the laughter.
and i'll miss you too. =]
Hope for better LUCKS and MONEY going into my pocket. ^^

Love you guys..miss Foo the most.

HuiJin Liew

reStart

2009-12-30T09:14:00.000-08:00

hey my dears~

please visit my other BLOG
. i've got message for you guys. =] Opened it for a reason. No worries, i'll still update here and both there.

HuiJin Liew

Round Up

2009-12-27T07:39:00.000-08:00

i'm a big big fan of December, and this year's December had been quite interesting.

early december, i just finished my SPM paper, which is a good news. My dad date me out for a movie..! At first i thought he meant those drama series that we missed. Then i realise he meant the CINEMA. it may be very common to most of you, parents going cinema, but not for me!

Before marriage; Father loves wife more than Cars.
After marriage; Father loves cars more than wife.
LONG after marriage; Father loves kids more than wife.

My dad loves us~ haha..

then, in the mid-December, things got rough. how should i put them in words?

well, you know what, i shouldn't put them in words. =]

then its final one the last week of December..

it's worst than i thought. Christmas falls at the final week of December, but it went bad. As usual we went to Zhen's to celebrate Christmas. definitely huge crowd; her friends and family. it wasn't as happy as last year.

Worst memory, is when it falls on Christmas.
Emo Christmas this year

HuiJin Liew

2009-12-23T05:23:00.000-08:00

i had things to write when i clicked on the dashboard.

but, the moment i clicked NEW POST..
my mind turn blank.
i forgot with i intend to write.

HuiJin Liew

2009-12-19T23:33:00.000-08:00

臭丫头,
谢谢你哦..
陪我聊整天.感觉好些了.
不好意思呢, 让你突然激动起来了.
=] 安慰倒是没有, 可是至少我笑了啊~

邱雅丽, 你不是很想知道我有那么多话说, 到底是什么吗?
好啊~ 我现在就说.
我那时突然约你也是因为我们得事.
是你说你会补偿回我的.
可是你有吗?

想知道一个, 我不敢和任何人说的一件事吗?
我那时一直追问你, 你在拍拖吗?
你说没有. 我就相信你.
可是, 我最想不到得是你原来都在篇我而已.

我承认, 我也不是什么好人.
我也和你一样.
可是至少事实, 我有告诉你呀!
你呢? 如果我没看到那就不打算和我说吗?
你知道我当时有多难过吗?
也是因为如此, 之后你和我说的每一句,
我无法在完全相信你了.
我一直告诉自己, "一定要相信你, 一定要."
或许是我不句努力吧.
那, 我在这, 说声对不起好了...

真的好奇怪哦~
我竟然会告诉外人我们得问题, 我都没和你说.
因为我突然发现, 就算我说了...会有分别吗??

我开始觉得我很烦, 天天都在烦你,
你也累了...累倒一封都不想回音我.
我每分每一妙都在等..等你回音我.
回音了, 却没话说...
为什么我们不能一起解决这问题呢?
你腻了, 告诉我好啦~
好过你什么都不告诉我..

不如你告诉我好了,
你想要我怎样..?

我没次看到你的blog我真的不懂你是在说谁.
我很好奇, 可是我敢问.

因为我不懂我是你的谁...

HuiJin Liew

failed

2009-12-17T07:13:00.000-08:00

i thought of writing them in words.

so you can see

and i don't have to speak it out.

but i just can't do it.

i failed.

HuiJin Liew

2009-12-15T08:49:00.000-08:00

i've got so many things to say.

but i can't post it here!

and
i feel like crying

HuiJin Liew

2009-12-10T01:07:00.000-08:00

UrgH! can't post my NuffNang Ads here!

buckle up.

2009-12-10T00:49:00.001-08:00

seen piles of books one a table before?
look at mine first!

All over the table my goodness~
but they're now up for sale.. but no one seems to be interested. =.=

Anyway! Christmas is coming!! AND FYI, i love Christmas and Starbucks, so we [my sis and i] bought the limited edition miniature Starbucks Cold Cup Ornament. =] don't get jealous.. In fact, right now, i wanted to get the Starbucks T-Shirt.. XD

SCREAM FOR STARBUCKS! hahaha~

HuiJin Liew

2009-12-10T00:46:00.000-08:00

what hurts the most
is when she held my hand, i was busy thinking how to let go

what hurts the most
is when she hugged me, i felt empty

what hurts the most
is when she knew i cheated on her, she kept quiet

what hurts the most
is when she said she wants to see me, i was scared to meet her

what hurts the most
is when i was free, but i made myself busy.

what hurts the most
is when she's falling apart, i didn't catch her.

what hurts the most
is when everyone was sad, but i was glad

Glad, that i don't have to lie
Glad, that we both can start all over again
Glad, that i won't speak words i didn't mean.

Glad.. that she didn't knew what had happen.
Glad...that she'll never ask either.

Glad, that it's over.

when i say i'm a bitch,
i mean it...

HuiJin Liew

tedious

2009-12-10T00:42:00.000-08:00

i'm tired
but i can't sleep.

i can't sleep
cuz i'm tired.

HuiJin Liew

Gloomed up.

2009-12-08T07:14:00.000-08:00

it's a gloomy day today.

it's the end of the examination, but thats not my main focus. [cuz almost everyday seems to be the same. i don't feel the difference of the REAL SPM paper. ] so, yeah! who cares...

it just seemed to me, people aren't who you see.
they act differently at different occasions..
perhaps that is the simplest reason why i don't trust people.
cuz they are different.
=]

tedious to know, i ran my final lap.
tedious to know, i have a lot of things i failed to do.
tedious to know, there's more coming up.

Tomorrow will be a better day, right?
Cheer for me!

p/s i hope we get along better this time. cuz i do get tired.

HuiJin Liew

2009-11-27T06:46:00.000-08:00

我们感情确实没特别好过,
可我也不想它变得更糟糕...

到底是我还是你?

Cheers to Grad

2009-11-05T18:11:00.000-08:00

Just blink of an eye, its almost end of the year. Happy days just fly so fast..
=] Anyway, Graduation Day is here!

It's a wet morning, so i'm pretty lazy in the morning. So i went school then i realise i forgot to bring my ROBE! Omg~

what's the best thing about my babiku yang tersayang is when she's always late, she can take things i left behind. XD Seriously lazy to talk about Grad, cuz i cant think of any interesting story besides that i LOVE heels, and i almost decided to wear it to take my certificate..! hows that?!

HuiJin and Mummie~

HuiJin and her Bitch~

HuiJin and her ex-Gay =p

HuiJin and her ex-mummie in law

HuiJin and her ex-papa in law

HuiJin and her ex-sis in law

HuiJin and her current gay. =p

HuiJin and Master Foo

HuiJin and Nanny

HuiJin and ex-wife.

HuiJin and hot chick. =PPP

Bitch, Pup and ex-papa's bro.

Good News, family photo at last! Muaxxx~

HuiJin Liew

Deepa'09

2009-10-22T21:32:00.001-07:00

every year Deepavali without fail, we'll definitely be out to someone's house. but this time, its three~ =D Shera la...mutton mutton

Our 1st stop, Sangeetha's House.
there's actually more pictures, but they're with Sharm and Sang. =]

da qing ma qiao partners. =P

Me and Sharm, the bloody fair picture. hahahaha~

i'll upload the video where Shera's wearing the heels later. i bet you'll laugh!

Leong's and Foo's puppy day out. =D

2nd stop, Vivyerra's Mansion. =p

the only picture far before i'm drunk.

ya ya, cuz Viv's dad offer, then we drink actually only Carlsberg. then Wanny ask for Black Label.
we mixed them. =.=

seriously, i'm so conscious that moment, but i just don't know why did i grab that dolly cat. =.=

funniest picture of the day. Its so obvious Shera's drunk.

we were sitting on the couch and coincidently there's a picture right opposite the seating.
Shera: the woman is staring at me [referring to the picture]
HuiJin: why? Scared?
Shera: No.. [before she finishes...]
HuiJin: cuz you're full of sin, thats why...

hahahaha~ drunk giler..

okay, i'm not DRUNK... just a lil maybe~ =p

Okay, i don't want to talk how drunk we were. =.=

the next day, 3rd Stop is at Sharm's house.
then, when Sang and Kumu, coming to Sharm's house, [they've never been there] they're like almost panicking. XD When we're suppose to pick them up downstairs, dahla her lift is abit wreck Me and Shera is talking bout something i forgot what...its irritates the lift i guess, we end up went to 6th floor, back up to 11th floor then only we came down. =.=

After that we even watched a Tamil movie.. =.=
i don't know what can i comment on that. hahahaha~

imagine this, your girlfriend is dying, people wanted to send her to the hospital
and you say NO?
that's the funniest and wierdest part of the movie. =p

HuiJin Liew

blogging

2009-10-16T21:25:00.000-07:00

when's the last time you blogged?
-Parawhore's suggestion ^^-

true or not,
but i'm gonna take an off, the blog, cuz exam's coming i better start resisting all these. XD
maybe sometimes, if there's any news i'll update. =P but you'll see my infacebookneway.

Cheers!

HuiJin Liew

Shop til i drop

2009-10-03T23:55:00.001-07:00

when's the last time you went for a shopping spree?

well, sam's birthday is on the 29th.
so Me, Foo and Leong wanted to get pressie's for her.
then i was thinking that we should get for the rest too. i mean we have no break anymore.
so maybe we took out the money to buy things first. and end up most of it comes from me.. =.=
can you imagine, i kept my money for like i guess 3years by now and i gotto take almost half out. T.T

RM 350!

but we manage to grab all we need. Penn Foo and Leong ( with MunKay and PuiYee) went for look out the day before. and my job on Saturday is to provide the money and really.. i mean really buy them..

that brown bag for Shera..its hard for me to buy it...not cuz i want it la..cuz i grabbed the white bag for myself which initially is for Shera. Sorry babiku yang tersayang~ its cuz i want to get something feminine for her. i know its hard to find and fit her. =P hahahahahah~

i spotted that pink watch for PeiErn. she's in love in pink~ and who doesn't know that? that high heels are for Lala. Actually i wanted to grab flat shoes for her. but didn't see one.. =]

that necklace is also for our hot peiErn. Leong say buy pink too. but too much of pink is also not good. hahaha~ see that ROXY purse? for our nanny PuiMun. that's a hard decision to make.. cuz it's soo cute foo wanted it too. =P

me and Leong [1, 2 jus] in the shop itself and the results is....

Don't Buy! but we bought it anyway~ hahaha hope others don't be jealous...

that checkered bag and the shirt is for our Sammy~ i don't know...i just hope she'll like it. =D that bag is really hard to find.
the white watch we bought for wanJia. i actually saw a cute one, but too big in size. XD there's also her red and orange for choices..but PuiYee says white is better. =]

eventhough those are all partially my money and Foo's, but its fun to purchase knowing you can. without thinking too much. XD

having to rush against time, we went to Leong's house to watch YunJing... hahaha~ while Foo, our accountant for the day, counts the amount we have to pay.

So you guys~ PAY UP!
hahaha~

HuiJin Liew

twist it Up!

2009-09-27T01:26:00.000-07:00

heard of the drink TWISTERS?

familiar right?

want to hear what's cute about my daddy?

here it goes.

we were in the supermarket the other day. coincidentally we are buying some snacks at the junk food section. cuz we drink a lot of that Tropicana Twister. so my dad wanted to get that. so he pointed at...

...THIS! [not the man la~]

and say, "Neh..whats that almost the same name as this [twisties snack]...that can be drinked"

i, who was listening was really digesting...how can Twisties snack be drinked... then i found the relation. XD

my dad was referring to Twisters Drink.

my dad's cute isn't he?

hahaha

HuiJin Liew

2009-09-25T09:34:00.000-07:00

currently,

don't ask why...but i felt like a BitCh.. =.=

HuiJin Liew

foo's list of precious

2009-09-24T22:17:00.000-07:00

foo says...

i love them

i love liShen for we sat de same table and chair in primary sch
i love liShen for she left a luv letter under de desk for me
i love liShen coz i heard she has a fat cat at home xP
i love lishen to be my high-claz aunty
i love Sam for her bed is so damn comfortable
i love Sam coz she cooked me maggiii mee
i love Sam coz i always go to her hse?? hahaa
i love Sam for we shared some stuff *secret* ^^
i love Sam coz Goofy is cute KAKA =.=
i love Sam coz im really happy whenever i can laugh with her
i love Sam to be my mama !!
i love zhen coz her parties is always great
i love zhen for she update me stuff on fb and ask me to peek ppl's photo xPP
i love zhen when i can tease her
i love zhen for i alwiz failed to shout at her when im mad. HAaha
i love zhen coz we alwiz gossip bout our form teacher
i love zhen coz she can be a nerd or vice versa
i love zhen coz i see her fingers flying whn she plays piano
i love zhen for she's my deskmate
i love meiyee coz i love her LOL
i love meiyee coz i can shout at her when im mad
i love meiyee for we share secrets
i love meiyee coz we see each other more than our family
i love meiyee for she's my shopping partner
i love meiyee coz we do stupid stuff together
i love meiyee coz we like tee shirt ~ wth =.=
i love meiyee for our schedule are identical xD
i love meiyee for we can juz stand at de roadside so long to talk before going home
i love meiyee coz we go home together
i love jin for she's so damn kind acc me to shangri-La
i love jin coz she teach me addmaths & maths
i love jin coz her mom and lotus zai are cute hahaha LMAO
i love jin for her voice can be as sharp as mine whn she shout
i love jin coz she's miang yet cool
i love jin coz i dream to mess up her house muahahaha
i love jin coz she's now my pup !
i love shera coz i cant resist to pinch her cheek
i love shera coz bathing at her house is so syok
i love shera coz she 'looks' so innocent
i love shera coz she said she didnt understand what i said !!!!!!
i love shera coz she eats a lot but still thin
i love shera for she dreamt what i did with NORIZAHHHHH!!!
i love shera coz she's so so so so cool whn she plays piano
i love shera coz she's alwiz sleepy
i love shera coz she's my pup's bitch !!! =] =)
i love Jia coz we crap together
i love Jia for we both nervous gilerrrr of addmaths exam
i love Jia coz i like to eat at her house
i love Jia coz she knows a lot bout 'those' stuff.. hahahah..
i love Jia when she scold meiyee and Shera.. Lol
i love Jia coz she's de papa
i love Peiern coz she's hot
i love Peiern coz she can transform whenever she together with wanjia
i love Peiern coz steamboat at her house was fun and i miz it a lot
i love Peiern coz she named her dog Bobby =]
i love Peiern coz she gets high easily and giv u lame pose
i love Peiern for she's my sista
i love Lili coz she's cute
i love Lili coz i love lepak with her in PR early in de morning
i love Lili when we compete whose locker most tidy and clean
i love Lili for we shout out loud from PR like nobody's business
i love Lili for we hide and ate in PR whn thr was a renovation
i love Lili coz we used to mad of our seniors
i love Penn coz she's so funny
i love Penn coz she's a parawhore
i love Penn coz she called me chung kok poh
i love Penn for she's so good to papa
i love Penn coz is damn freaking funny when she pulled a gal's bag and it tear habis
i love Penn coz she brings loads of laughter
i love Penn coz she's rox whn she sings and plays guitar
i love puimun coz she's good
i love puimun coz she's a very cute servant
i love puimun coz sometimes she's weird
i love puimun for she looks funny whn she walks behind Sam

i love- we squeeze together in few chairs during recess
i love- we share food
i love- we cut hair together
i love- we gossip bout bitch, jerk or whoever
i love- de way we decide where to eat
i love- we joke around
i love- we study together
i love- we celebrate birthday for each other
i love- we watch movie in gang
i love- we hang out together
i love- group photos which we do not have yet
i love- we lepak in QM
i love- we play true and true in McD
i love- we out to makan together after school
i love- we go back to class late after recess
i love- visit each other's hse during CNY
LOL anything ~ loads more i cant list out !!

i say...

i love foo coz she look so cool but she's crazy..
i love foo coz she's cute
i love foo coz she funny
i love foo coz she always create names for her hair XD
i love foo coz she got a sensitve nose hahaha~
i love foo coz when she's mad, she mumbles a lot. xd
i love foo coz she's my master..

HuiJin Liew

2009-09-24T21:38:00.000-07:00

已经多年不见, 没想到会与你一起走..
平时我等人都没什么..最多是点不耐烦.
就算当时只是那短短得10分钟..
我不是在弄头发,就是在按电话.
就是紧张到不懂怎么办.. 哈哈哈~
见到你我是真的不懂该怎么反应.

那时你问我,
我怎么喜欢你,
我只是说, "你有性格啊.."
你笑着说这是第一次有人说她有性格.

哈哈哈~ 可能你本身没什么留意罢了..^^

说起两年前得事, 你说你觉得我在避开你.
是呀~ 你现在还想知道为什么吗?

其实那时,我觉得那是个对感情蛮固执. 呵呵~
我其实是很怕和太认真得人在一起.
原因很奇怪罢~

你一定想问,难道你现在不认真吗?
哈哈哈~

不懂叻..有时我觉得自己很奇怪得..
可是我很肯定得是, 你成熟很多..

p/s 我不后悔和你在一起...反而感到自己太幸运了. ^^

HuiJin Liew

2009-09-17T08:49:00.000-07:00

you know, i'm really happy you're telling me things around you. what you feel or think at that moment.. glad that you know i understands you. but yet again, i'm jealous sometimes..
to me, nothing matters more than you being happy. so be happy okay?

cuz you are always special to me. ^^

HuiJin Liew

hit the road

2009-09-17T07:54:00.000-07:00

yay! announcing to my countdown for last exam. =P

' I'm looking forward for the papers.' -Mummie Hoh, stated on the 1st day of Trials-

hahahah~

exam is over...but i guess i shouldn't stop here. i'm still blooody far from what i want. nevermind. ignore this first.
talking bout after SPM. hahaha.. loads of plan were made...but not officially organised yet. they were planning for

i. 'sports day' the day before graduation
ii. have lunch at i don't remember where it is..
iii. Foo, Shera and Lea is leaving for National service too. i want to see you guyss off, Kay?
iv. and there's a lot more. but i couldn't recall now. =D

p/s. happy birthday Simun Leong.. ^^

HuiJin Liew

final lap

2009-09-12T00:05:00.000-07:00

you know what's hard being a blogger?

is to know that there is things you cannot let others to find out...

i'm one of them.
so i chose to blog in the laptop. =D

so no one can read! hahaha

talking bout trials... OMG~!
feel kinda depressed... but i keep telling myself...No No, HuiJin you did a good job. =]

but i don't know, all i know is i'm freaking out. this is definately the first time i studied so much..and so bloody hard for i, really really want this...

1st week is moderately okay...
but 2nd week..i seriously cannot handle the pressure. it's just right on my bloody head. XD
headache all night. T.T

but that's it. 3rd...

my final lap =]

HuiJin Liew

YunJing

2009-09-06T04:23:00.000-07:00

HappY BirtHDay YunJing! ^^

HuiJin Liew

2009-09-04T02:37:00.000-07:00

Happy birthday to me~! hahaha~

its suppose to be quite a good day for me...but maybe because of Chemistry i guess...my mood ran away. =P

anyway, let start with horrible people! hahaha. every year, without fail... babiku yang tersayang, [pig bitch =P] has to be reminded that its my birthday. of course, its okay for me. cuz..nah~ its okay. Penn pun. but she;s forgiven cuz she got her Relationship issue. hahaha..

FYI, i don't celebrate my birthday actually. just too, i feel odd. =P don't ask why..
anyway...thanks to those who wished me birthdays and gave me lucks~ =D
appreaciate that! ^^

Love you guys! mUaxxes~~

a very sweet gift from my MAster Foo! hahaha... cute isn't it?

honestly...i really like pressie like this, i find them rather ,meaningful. but things that are bought can be seen anywhere else too. but hand-made are always special and they came only in one copy~ Somtimes simple presents mean a lot to me too. like my last two year's special pressie. ^^ Michele, Stella and Wy Yee gave it to me. XD.

it's just tissues...but i'm happy with it. in fact, i don't know why, but i really appreciate it. =P

anyway...no matter what it is~ i'm most glad if you guys are there to celebrate my birthday... ^^

again...i love you guys. mUaxx~

p/S its been really nice to tell you what i knew. at least now i feel true to myself. =D then you can tell me what's going on as well.. anyway... your big day's coming too~ i wish for the best to you. ^^

HuiJin Liew

two in one

2009-08-27T08:13:00.000-07:00

sometimes i do feel people is always good and bad..
as in really two in one.

i use to be extremely naughty i guess. often do i get scolding from my sisters.. well, i was in form2 that time, so my sisters were also in secondary school that time. Seriously, i do not deny they were freaking bloody good student!

but as soon as i got into form4 i just felt, i changed a lot. kinda good girl...for a daughter. cuz i always argue with my mum and i get piss off and that the whole story from the tiny-weeny things you can think of. but for now, i listened to my mum [if i want to] but to the least, i don't argue with her. i'm starting to hate loud shouts in the house [cuz its not a party] Plus, my mum's not young. =D

cuz for me.. i don't care bout anything now...i only want bother of my studies. [just like my mummie right? hahaha]

but as my sisters...you wouldn't want to know what my sis have been doing. crazy things...

she's doing what i always want to do...to SHOP! she's shopping like its nobody's business. [J.E.A.L.O.U.S]
she online at night...no actually is the morning. when i get up for school, its her bed time. sounds like small case right? this made my dad screaming all the way upstairs. imagine...MY DAD~

that's just my 2nd sister. my eldest sister?

her's is pretty much of a big drama.. and i can even tell you the whole story whats it about with only a word.

LOVE

people go pretty rebellious for it. =D how far she went, you guess..

HuiJin Liew

Mummie's Birthday

2009-08-23T21:38:00.000-07:00

First of all, HAPPY BIRTHDAY MUMMIE!

Shera's mum was bringing us to Zhen's house and when we were at the junction and the traffic. [we're the first car at the traffic] it was because the car ran out of petrol. =.= so we just have to wait for her dad to come with petrol. it was already 7 by then.

this is the first funny part fo the day. we reached and no one was answering the door bell. so i rang up, Nanny [PuiMun] to get the gate open.

HuiJin: Ei Lai Ma [Nanny] ! We reached already. Open the door!

PuiMun: Oh oh Okay. we come down now. [then i heard her shouting] EI, Your dog reach already! =.='''

then after we went upstairs and i saw my mummie havin her hair-do thanks to LiShen [top-class Aunty] bringing all those.

J.E.A.L.O.U.S.? cuz i got a hot mum! hahaha

then since it's already late, we had our dinner ready. During dinner...OMG~ i takle tahan la.. this WanJia and PeiErn..Speechless. they just...you know, ought to be father and daughter. For those who don't know why...you don't want to know why.

the least[Penn's] , the medium [PeiErn's] , and the MOST [of course is Shera la..]

hahaha. Mad cases. eventhough PeiErn look so innocent..don't judge a book by its cover, honey..

after that, some were like, "Lets watch Ghost movie!" then we watched the Cinderella. Starting was a lil freaky, but it end up quite boring and still, its confusing. PuiMun had to explain to us. =.= there's a scene when we're paying full attention to the screen and...ARGHH!!! somebody shouted.. =.=''' its Marcus and his phone.

As for Penny and Shera, they went cycling. later Mummie and WanJia took turn cycling otuside..

Penny got high~ hahaha

When people go crazy..

it's infectious.. [sorry cuz its really blur..but its the only copy i have] =P

The Cake of the Day.

Again, Happy Birthday Mummie~

HuiJin Liew

Earings

2009-08-20T09:22:00.000-07:00

i lost my precious earings~

T.T my cross-like earings.

emo~

have not the chance for a picture with IT

HuiJin Liew

striking reality

2009-08-15T06:00:00.000-07:00

i'm currently under terrible mood..

i do know, cuz i already know.
but it is too stupid for me that i still go for it.

there's so many out there thinking that i am s good person. [maybe a quarter] but am i? it felt bad to know, they're just doing what i am doing..and i thoroughly feel horrible.

what about others when they found out?

i want it so badly, that i forgot reality

Eat-aholic

2009-08-12T05:09:00.000-07:00

i just like to post all the notes up. it all started off with me and Shera's first note to Penny. haha

Belum Balik Ke? =P

anyway, today its real funny. well, Sangeetha asked if me and shera could do the PRS board for Independence Day. i dun like to do all these art-y things actually. but she seems desperate to look for people so i agreed. what is i didn't know is its a competition. so well well, just do it lar.

then here comes the funny part i want to tell you. We [HuiJin and Shera] were called to meet Ms Khoo and Puan Wan regarding this decorating board things. so we sat there and start discussing bout background, arrangement etc. then as usual we're dicussing then end up shouting at each other. and we did that like the teachers are not there at all. hahaha~ my goodness!

Puan Wan sort of reprimanded us. so shut up for a second or two and there we go again.. then Ms Khoo took out some food, then i see Shera taking it, i also took some. then that very moment we're eating... [we can resist anything except temptations.]

Puan Wan: Ada makanan je dah senyap...

hahahah~ Ms Khoo and others who's in the room too laugh. Puan Wan is so straight forward! but i like that. hahaha~ then discussion over i suddenly thought of something. now me and shera is in charge of something...TOGETHER.

OMG~ yes, you got it right...! They think we're still couple i guess~

HuiJin Liew

Modern on Ancient

2009-08-09T02:47:00.000-07:00

my discovery on the way to Hang Tuah LRT.

i can't believe they did graffiti on the famous Pudu Jail Wall of art. =.='''

cute and amusing..
you should have a real look at it yourself.

I said i love you. but i forgot what LOVE is..

HuiJin Liew

Eunice.

2009-08-06T08:21:00.000-07:00

honestly, i feel my whole social life has gone all upside down and inside out..
but what can i do...neither my brain cells nor my senses are working well..
i'll just let things flow.

this one i wanted to post long ago, but i fail to get the video from my sis..
but my niece, [lotus zai] she cleans just like my mum. you see then you'll understand how my mum would do when you drop by. hahaha. But it's just 90% of it. you would not want to watch my mum do it herself.

cleaning the coffee table...

playing with the mop

HuiJin Liew

Post-Menstrual Symptoms.

2009-07-30T05:20:00.001-07:00

Sorry all my babes...=D

that's the main point now.
then, here goes the story section.

Monday, i scolded LiYuen regarding KangLun asking Foo and Leong to go Gasoline.
i mean, you can come down to Pudu LRT station, just a lil bit more to the school. We have tuition coming up anyway. it's really troublesome. Plus, my babi yang tersayang sick already. not convenient for her to move everywhere.. Then at last KangLun said okay. When we're in Locals. Okay..this part is a whole lotta warning needed. 18above only please!

i'm so sorry but he annoys me. i just can't help it. you don't know how insulted i actually felt..!

Money maybe what you have, but yet, Money is what we don't have
you may like to try new things all the time. But as for me? everywhere is fine as long as im with my friends.
People think differently. We just coincidently never click.
That's too bad.

So, sorry my ex-wife! just so happen i ter-scold you. =P

Tuesday, i scolded someone, but i got more on irritated. its my 6th dad's birthday on Wednesday. so Sam say lets celebrate his birthday. Of course its not a problem. Just the problem is...his friends. =.= it suppose to be a surprise celebration. the initial plan was that PuiMun and Sam will bring him and act like group studying. While the rest of us, [PeiErn, ZhenPei, MeiYee, PuiKuan, WanJia and Me] we followed the guys [shall not mention names] to get the cake then only head to the restaurant near their school, which is pretty far. We have tuition, so it is a trouble to get here and there when what we don't have enough is time. We got to race after the time and the guys are practically taking their own sweet time and they only get a small piece of brownies i guess. get a whole would be better actually. that really make my day soo off the hook.. so the thing is, we got there, take a breath, sing a birthday song, and BYE..we got to go. Sorry that we can't stay long..but anywyay, Happy Belated Birthday Dad!

Wednesday, let me think... i just remember something funny, that is i was going downstairs after school. Sharmila and Gay3 is in front me. then Its wednesday, so its like after school she'll definately meet the SG again lar.. so i pun saja say, "YO! today's wednesday!" then i saw Puan Norizah there..waiting for us! Argh...malunya!

Puan Norizah: Ohh~ Sharmila rupanya.Saya sengaja nak tunggu tengok siapa budak tu. Saya ingatkan budak-budak Jed. Siapa yang menjerit-jerit tadi? [asking gay3 and she pointed to me and Sharm.] Hah! Sharmila, macam samseng la sekarang ni.. [hahaha...then we cabut laughing our heads off]

then today in BM class, she announce to the whole class. =.= but she turn the story upside down.

Puan Norizah: Semalam Sharmila bukan main seronok lagi dengan HuiJin tu. Nyanyi lagu Tamil dan lagu Cina la tu.. Gay3 dah jadi hakim pulak~

haha...i just assume the words, cuz i'm not really sure. but Puan Norizah's funny anyway~ =D

Thursday, i pist PuiKuan off. Hahaha. Sorry lar~ but i'm serious bout the fact that, don't say as if i'm don't need practices just because i scored once.. i don't like that. Seriously... cuz i'll scream at you. Try me~ okay please don't..

Friday, well, PuiKuan ask me to accompany them, [MunMun, MeiYee and her] to Kim Gary for lunch. one of the reason is, saja more people. another reason is because PuiYee flew their aeroplane. and the main reason... is cuz...[secret~] ask me personally then i'll tell you. its too public here.. then i end up got to run to PRS meeting. i didn't want another "Not Reliable" reason to come from Ms Khoo's mouth.. then there's post-mortem for the Career Week. So, when i get back, i get notes too. =.=

my master's notes. =.=''' [ you see how many times they change the emoticons..]

leong's note.

as for my babiku yang tersayang.. i scold her most of the time. sometimes, she doesn't care. but i know she feels it. so, Sorry too'ya~ but i just beh tahan lar~ [takle tahan] She needs more pressure to work. and Sorry to Sharmila also, cuz i scold her when i'm pist off of other people. hahaha. saja cuz i know they won't get too worried if i scold cuz they know its not their fault.

^^

HuiJin Liew

Birthday

2009-07-26T01:04:00.000-07:00

azam giler.. [Sam: i want lui sai i want lui sai]
p/s lui sai = son-in-law =P

that's a Baskin Robbins. NOT basket Robbins puiMun! =p

that cake is Sam and the rest [i forgot who] made for foo.. =p
Nice...for a first try~ *applause*

this one, saja want to put it in, cuz, 101 picture that you'll see shera!

this one, i put it in cuz, it looks nice.

this one i put it in, also for a reason. Cuz i took it for them. hahaha. [lame]

this one...cuz look like so syok la...

this one, cuz they're my parents? hahahaha

Happy birthday my babes~

its all photos i took from Marcus in MukaBuku, cuz i din't bring my own camera that day..=P

credit him 1st. though there isn't a lot. then after Penny [which is surprising that she's free on friday. XD] left, WanJia, Shera and PeiErn also left around 300pm. then we're hanging there a lil while more.

then i remember the 1st time ever live show! Sam Kissed MeiYee! hahahah~ that's a good birthday present..

it's around 5pm at that time that we're leaving. Maggi says she can send us...but the question is...How many of us?

there's still 7 of us excluding Maggi herself. and her car is a Wira size car. [ is it a wira?] then MeiYee and PuiKuan say they can walk home... then Wayne and Marcus say they can get back from the LRT, cuz we can't allow birthday girls to walk home by themselves. but we end up, stuffing all of us in. we took a video of it, but its in sam's phone. wait for the video update then.

HuiJin Liew

Stick Man

2009-07-24T04:21:00.000-07:00

this is so funny and so cute at the same time.
just want share~

^^

another thing is..
i CAN'T believe that even when i shut up, people around me [teachers, prefects bitches etc] they cannot resist to warn me or worst still, talk crap with me.

of course i know my testimonials is in jeopardy, but what can i do? i've done it! it's pretty much more on whether the "boss" remembers me or not. that's all..
i'm so tired of people pestering me around. ><

if you wanted to only warn me, go ahead. i mean, don;t beat around the bushes. i know there's no one else besides me. it is so hard to go school, worst when i know there's so much i had to be careful with and most important, LUCKY.

i'm always unlucky this year. i don't know why, but it seems like bad luck is following me everywhere. best hope they leave me soon enough. I can only pray for the best. Pray with me!

HuiJin Liew

Odori-ies '09!

2009-07-19T05:37:00.000-07:00

i've been wondering whether should i go Bon Odori or not.

i wanted to go cuz..

i. i've never been there.

ii. i don't know if i'll have the chance to go together anymore.

i din't want to go because

i. ill miss YunJing performing again..T.T [i miss loads of times]

ii. i seriously wanted to study at home

iii. the next day is seminar in Ti-ratana. which is totally boring. urgh~ don't mention! don't mention!

but i end up there...
XD

well, it started of with total 'fashion entertainment' in Connought. haha. i"m sorry cuz i din't took the picture to show you, but seriously its a very odd dressing. like their going clubbing in a stadium while there's also some who dressed up like her bestie is going to get married. yay! ut buuHU! its ugly..

we just entered the stadium

Look at that. this is only the 1st. look at the second. ^^

isn't he adorable?? hahaha.

we called shera to chase after them so we can take picture. =P

this will kill liShen. she wanted those so badly. while Sam, wanted the gas in it. =.=

.
then the ceremony starts

then it was the dance, where you can watch for yourself in the video. and as you can see, its in round and round and almost everyone dance there. but we lingered around and seriously, very dusty cuz the sand are all kicked up. it';s like misty, but its HOT

well, this is just taken for fun.

but more fun is coming up later. cuz when its about to end, we're in the bus, then PuiMun suddenly mention what they've done last year. they acted like ghost and took loads of pics.
and in behalf of them, i will, I MUST post it up.

but you just got to wait cuz the pictures is in Sam's camera. i bet you , it's scary~

thats a good one~

17 July

2009-07-17T20:11:00.000-07:00

people who knows would know what 17July means to me.
But, wait till i went back home, then i realise there's something more important than this

My Mum's Birthday~!

hahahah~ 1st thing i do is to check my phone, then there comes my sister, HuiQing's message.

HuiJin, today's mum's birthday. tell me if mum is cooking then i'll just buy a cake.

i thought i was the only one who forgot, but when i think again, HuiQing Would have told me last night if she remembers. Which means, hah! She forgot too! hahahaha only my elder sister remembers. =p

Sorry Mum!

its weird cuz i never forgot till today, is definately the first time. hahaha.

this upload is again from Gay3 and Sharmila. that day i don't remember what class is it, but i was browsing thru their pencil box that i spotted this.

Sharmila: Gaiyathri, you Suck..
Gay3: Why?
Sharmila: Cuz your pencil box is in a critical condition but you're still using it. [nonsense right?]
Gay3: My friend is in a critical condition, but i still friend her? [referring to Sharmila]

well, i just find it funny. that's how sarcasm sounds..
and there's another quote that i find funny too.

I'm not a vegetarian because I love animals. I'm a vegetarian because I hate plants.: A. Whitney Brown.

Understand?

HuiJin Liew

Gossip

2009-07-12T01:14:00.001-07:00

its gonna piss you off babe~ hahahaha its for Foo and Leong

last friday i went for PRSClub meeting, like usual three things

i. Bore

ii. Boring

iii. Bored

well, what can i do. i just did nothing. i just sat there. then there goes, Ms Khoo discussing about the Career Week bla bla bla... Suddenly out of no where, i got hit!

She suddenly say, "I'm Sorry but no offence, but Gaiyathri is not reliable. [then turn to me. who is sitting quietly at the corner] HuiJin also not RELIABLE"

i'm like, a little shock with the sudden comment but surprsingly, i'm pretty cool with it. i mean, it's no longer the first time a teacher say that. i'm so fed up already. but i just want to post it, cuz it's funny to me. hahaha~ but i know Gay3 is mad. =P

She even added that, "I actually also don't want to let you inCharge [for the Career Week]" but she still put us in cuz she got no choice, plus, she want us to show her that we can be RELIABLE. =.= i got no comments on this..

Yet,

i do have comments when it comes to her herself. Sorry lah~ but, i'm not fond of her AT ALL. She's nice, but she should always ask herself is she that kinda person when she's trying to judge other people as well. i don't deny that things she said are true. but not all of it. recalling that day where we're dicussing about the 'Kempen Pelajar Tersopan' Polite is different from breaking the rules right? Agree?

And she said, "aiya, You know la, those Nilam Mutiara students, break rules one..Don't need la." with a faking smiley face. [something like that. i forgot what's the exact word she use]

that moment i totally feel like want to slam her on the face. Who told you Akik students are polite? You call yourself a counselor when what you do is being prejudice to student youself?!

Best Example: she really thought HuiJin and Shera are couple..? This is a mad idea!

but i know one thing, she always says that i'm rude when i'm loud. people who knows me, knows i scream like mad sometimes. i Curse, another thing Ms Khoo knows too. but am i the only one doing it? definately a NO.. i know its rude to curse, but at least i stay true to myself. What about you?

I suppose the main reason i still attend the meeting is because, 5bonus marks for being a PRS. Bloody Hell... Worth it? i don't know..

and there's one thing i promise to post it up from Gay3 to Sharmila.

" You ditch this GAI for another GUY!"

rough idea for those who don't know, due to Sharm's bad habit of observing other couples, the guy [known as SG] is now apparently flirting with Sharmila and we [HuiJin Shera and Gay3] believes that Sharm took the bait..Don't lie to us babe~ once she ditch Gay3 and walk with the SG cuz he came talking to Sharmila. That's the word Gay3 said to Sharmila. Cute? hahaha

HuiJinLiew

Cheers to Day2 Finale

2009-07-06T07:54:00.000-07:00

massive crowd

MURIEL!

we've made it~! its just so freaking nervous...i'm like omg omg~ go Go Go!
hahahaha

thank God i remember my camera today. got there pretty early...apparently our places had been taken by other teams. Urgh~ we only have half of the seat...NO. i mean quarter of it. our supporters ran off cuz there's no seat at all. but at least we took pictures with some judges.

pretty~

We're the fifth team to perform, and luckily that short time is good for me, cuz i don't feel too nervous as the day before. haha~

HuiJin LeShen SookVoon they are the only cheerleaders i manage to take pic with. =.=

HuiJin NabiBi Michele they are the only supporters i took pic with =.=

HuiChi HuiJin YiTheng Jenn they are the only seniors i took pic with. =.=

well, we won the Teacher of The Year Award. i guess Pn Azwana is the happiest fella that day.. i mean, that award was the first to announce and we're pretty shocked. we're shouting like its our own house..

after the performance..seriously saying, Muriel do rock the stage..! then i ran straight to backstage... and all of them are crying~ my bulu roma is like 90 degrees. but, of course, i'm a proud Muriel Director. XD

Charm All Stars

Santwon and Tye

lets talk back about LiewHuiJin..

just like what i've expected, issues came abotu again. i turn speechless, and turn mean~ I realise i've changed so much i don't know LiewHuiJin any better.. a fortnight only. its just so close. but i cannot even tell you if i can celebrate that.

much more shocking is that i cried during our dinner, yet no one said a word. Cuz i'm rubbing my eyes and act as it i'm so exhausted and sleepy. but thats too wet on a face right? and when i was telling in school, thanks God the tears dried up last night~ hahahah

Just Kidding~

huiJin Liew

Cheers Day1

2009-07-04T09:03:00.000-07:00

my hands were feezing in early morning today.
well, Duhh~ its Cheer Competition today
and Director Choo leaves the music to me. i'm like so speechless
i'm so under pressure MORE when i see other teams having technical problem with their music.

i'm like...waiting and waiting and its total nerve-wreaking.
well, music at least din went wrong that day..
but other things did. this is personal. nothing to do with Muriel
i guess we really did so well that;

1. Jien notices Muriel at last! cuz its like for so many times i've been there, no MURIEL was mentioned.. big words and large crowd definitely win over some attention. hahaha~

2. Muriel team did a very good cheer. You still rawk, Ok?
You got what it takes to hit the top! we have tomorrow. and we will do whatever we can..

Directors is always behind your back to back you up~!

Wu-Hu Muriel...! GO Go go!

alone

2009-07-01T06:50:00.001-07:00

i'm ditched at home early in the morning not even being inform although i know where they went.

i mean...ya FINE~ Last week i was the one who lie dead on the bed and last minute didn't want to go. but you could wake me up again No harm...
last week was Father's Day and my Daddy wants to go hiking. so we are suppose to accompany him. but i slept really late the night before, so i "flew their aeroplane"...

when i was in a damn good mood of going, the next thing i know, is i'm alone the house!
MISERY... and i end up sleeping all day. good enough that after they come back, my sis offer for karaoke, i mean, WHY NOT? but i'm seriously telling you never go on weekends cuz they'll triple the price of weekdays, man. I'm broke by just singing for 3hrs..!

Believe me...!

but i'm happy that i sang almost songs that i wanted, although when its about time, we only sang half of every song... hahaha.

Its a good day with my sis though~

after that my elder sis was suppose to go to her friends birthday party. She had dress up well right? she chose the dress, and i add her accessories for her. she said, she'll hire me when she's going for any date. and i say, " Since we're sis, make sure you hire me for long. Money is still money babe~"

Steamboat

2009-06-19T08:57:00.001-07:00

last week just before the school reopens for second semester,
we had a steamboat gather at Lea's. and far before this at midValley on the 4th June. i have not uploaded that cuz i don't have the pictures i wanted from stephy.

the night before and the early morning is in total mess, cuz i just realise that i missunderstood Lea's meaning of, "You think le?" i thought she say her parents can bring us out that day in the evening to get the food..

i guess we are always get into mis-communication. (is there such word???) cuz we always have the wrong meaning when one of us say something...=.='' NEW TREND it is.. =D

we got to Econsave to get foods...and not just fishballs. haha. cuz that's exactly what we have. Lea's parents and her sis went out; to concert in Genting. so, the house is on our guard. hahaha.
when its around 6.00pm we are starving. Most of us had not had breakfast at all. so, we start getting it all set up. when we're about to open the Sparklings.. Check that out..

sam broke it..shera was the one wanted us to post it up.. =p haha

all the food we bought...most of it is still kinda, frozen inside..

zhenPei: faces of starving people..*kachack

meiYee meiYee meiYee...hahaha.

we actually ate for like 2hours. i think we have at least steamed up to 5rounds. O.o cuz by the time we know we're 90% full..its already 830pm..

all the cousins of MeiYee..hahah

PeiErn's Favourite a.k.a. MeiYee's ancestors...hahahahaha

we had a short night walk around the place. some cycled...=.= i know i can't. Stop laughing... then i spotted this. i din reli walked pass here before.. pretty cute cuz the lights are surprisingly there. it's just small park.

shera, the superMan.. hahaha. [Quality not that good, cuz too much of movements]

p/s: seen shera like this?common isn't it... its just the 1st part of her. keep reading and you'll know why..

then, once we get back to the house, we wallup the rest of the food. taste much better than earlier.. don't know why... Here comes the entertainment,

We proudly presents Love in The Ice, and i introduce our vocalist, Samantha Yeo and pianist, Reshera Chan. *appaulse. [sorry, its horizontal]

P/S; thats the normal sense of shera. =p .. Dude...when you play piano, seriously you look...er, so graceful. PLAY more.. hahaha [sincere tau...ish~]

my Mummie~ ^^ hahaha...

saja want to credit my mummie cuz recently she's praising me a lot. but sometimes, in weird sense...maybe past life, she is my mum! cuz she sounds like one.. hahaha

just once.

2009-06-10T07:58:00.000-07:00

女人是不可以被伤害多过一次。
ladies can only bear to be hurt twice.
第一次得原谅是或许，
the first forgiveness is probably
她是在给你机会也在给他自己机会。
because she wanted to give you and her another chance.

若再伤她第二次，
but if it's the second time,
她不只是掸掸得心淡
she don't just feel exhausted
而是伤透了。
she was hurt badly.

我也是女的。。
i'm also a girl..
当然了解啦。
of course i know how bad it felt..
可我无能为力。
but i can't help it
我并不是超人
i'm no Superman...
无法照顾每一个人得心。
i can't look after everybody's fragile heart

美好结局谁不要？
who doesn't want a happy ending?
只是问题就是在事情时好时坏。
its just that sometimes you're up, and the next thing is you're down.

不是你说爱就在一起，
its not that when you're in love then get along..
不爱就拜拜得。
when its gone then its bye-bye.

当时狠心得放开她。。
took much courage to break it up and let her go..
她今日过得好好得。。
and she's living a good life

那不是很好吗？
isn't that a good news?

Wait

2009-06-03T08:13:00.000-07:00

Morning of 2nd June.
Jump out of bed and get prepared to go to the hospital. i have a check-up.
reach there, and there my WAITING session starts.

730am.
WAIT till my turn which is about 930 by then.
the the doctor start telling and asking loads of questions and even brought in another doctor for another opinion. and i WAIT again... after all the question and answer session, they suggested and injection. and yeah..why not?

and i WAITED for the pharmacy to give me the medicine. and i WAITED for the bus which took almost 30minutes.

i got down at Maluri bus stop, planning to get my new IC down the road. what i didn't know is that the Jabatan Pendaftaran Negara is really down the road... its so exhausting, but the journey yet not to end.

took my number and WAITED again... it's around 1230pm.
and i had to walk back to the Maluri LRT station. sat to Salak South and from there i had to WAIt for the bus; its about to kill me.

I'm so tired of waiting! but i still got to wait.

why i go Salak South?
^^
Secret..

back from there was about 330 i got to run to Leisure Mall to get some paper works etc.
tired of waiting, i halt a taxi and run. haha~ Smartest choice i've made the whole day...

Shopping for books for my niece. XD

she likes RED
^^

but luckily this time the bus came soon after i WAIT there..

Good ending for the day.
XD

last confession

2009-05-30T11:39:00.000-07:00

its really long since my previous post...
i feel its like a months when its only a week ago...
=.=

i seriously don't know what to say more..
but,
if you consider as a good news..

Yeah i'm back on the track..

promise been made..
and promise i shall keep..

I'm sorry about what I've done
I'm sorry about what I've said
I'm sorry that i let you cry
I'm sorry that i doubt about us..

i know...
sorry ain't no cure..

you're bleeding but i'm merely sprinkling salt on it..

yet again,

I'm sorry that i make things hard for both of us.

很想死。Feel like dying.

2009-05-17T01:47:00.000-07:00

很想死。Feel like dying.

我真的觉得很不舒服。
i feel so sick..
我真的很累。
feel so tired..
每当想到她说的话。。
whenever i think of what she has said,
我泪就一直流。
my tears won't dry up.

她说的每一句，
every word she says,
我真的很心痛。
it made me feel so heartbroken..
就算我看不到她，
even if i don't see her,
我真的感觉到她一直在哭泣。。
i could just feel her crying...

“可以告诉我事实吗？”
"could you tell me the truth?"

“以前你答应过，说你不会喜欢别人。我明白这很难说。”
"you once promise me, you won't like another. but i know its hard to keep the promise."

“如果我们真的在这里结束，我不懂该怎么办。10个月，太不容易了。。”
"If we really end here, i don't know what to do. 10months, its not easy.."

“如果你真的是喜欢她，我愿意推出。我只能这样。。”
"if it really happens that you like her, i can just step out.."

“我一直以来最怕就是我们失去彼此因为有第三者。。”
"All this while i'm afraid we will lose each other because of third party"

“对不起，如果不是我那你就不会那么矛盾。不懂怎么办。。怕我会伤心。”
"i'm sorry, if if it wasn't because of me, you wouldn't be so messed up, worry that i'll get hurt."

明明就是我对不起她，
i'm sorry to her,
她却对我说对不起。。
but she apologised to me..
我。。一直装不在乎，
i always pretended like i don't care,
可是我天天都希望能在她身边。
but i really wish i could always be there for her..
至少我知道。。
at least i know
看到她开心就可以了。
that she'll be happy..

本人很少拜拜，
i actually hardly pray,
可当我真的真心得拜，
but when i do pray wholehearted,
就算只能许一个愿望，
and if i can only have a wish,
我望她每日幸福快乐。
i wish she will be happy everyday.
可现在，
but know,
是我让她那么心疼，
i am the one that make her sad
那么痛苦。。
make her suffer like this

对我来说第三者根本就是借口而已。。
to me, a third party is just a lame excuse..
我在乎得只是她的未来。
all i care about is her future.
虽然她说，她没后悔和我在一起，反而觉得很幸福。
although she says, she never regretted being with me, in fact she felt so blissful.
我能给她统统都是暂时得，
but i can only give her whats temporary..
我希望她能够找到能给她‘永远’得人。
i wished she could find someone, that would show her what 'Forever" is..

我不配。。
i don't deserve to be that person..
却不舍得。
but, it seems like i couldn't let go.
我整个脑真的很乱。。
my whole brain is so confused..
不懂该怎么做。
do not know what to do..

我知道你在读者，
i know you're reading this,
告诉我，
tell me
该怎么办好吗？
what should i do?

崩溃。Fall Apart.

2009-05-15T02:52:00.000-07:00

崩溃。

摆在我面前的，
right in front of me now,
是一段就快崩溃的感情。
is a relationship that's gonna fall apart..

怎么说？
why is that?

对呀。。。
yes it is true,
是要10个月了，
it's been almost 10months now
但每个晚上我们对彼此说的
but i often doubt whenever i say
“晚安，我爱你”
"Goodnight, love you"
是否有50% 是发出真心说的吗？
is there 50% of it comes straight from the heart?

只看了以上那一句，
when you read that sentence,
是不是觉得
you feel like
太不可思议了吧。。
so unbelievable..
很想甩我一巴掌吧？
and feel like want to slap me so badly, don't you?
我觉得自己很过份
i'm just too much,
很可恶，
so horrible...

虽然如此，
even tough it seems like that
但没想到她不在我身边
when i think about her
会很想念。
i do miss her.
看她那么辛苦
to see her suffer so much
也会心疼。
it hurts straight into the heart.
我不懂自己在想什么，做什么。
thats why i really do not know what am i thinking, what can i do.
只知道情绪很复杂
only knows how complicated it feels now
但同时，
its complicated because i fail to understand how i feel now
我也不想伤害她。
cuz to hurt her would be the last thing i want to do..

我想了很久，
i've been thinking so much,
该怎么办？
what should i do?

当她每次问我，
every time when she asks,
“你。。有心事吗？”
"Are you okay?"
我背着良心说 “没有啊~”
i denied and say, "Ya, sure"
“真的没事吗？” 老实说我不懂她是怎么察觉到的
"Really?" seriously i don't know how she realise that...
问了3次，
asking for the third time,
很想告诉她我现在怎么了。。
i really do want to tell her how i feel now..
告诉她，她最不想听到的一句。
to tell her, things she doesn't want to hear..
但我并非能亲口告诉她。
but i couldn't say it..

而如此就拖到今日。
and so, it become what it is today.
就好听一些，为她好。。
sounds better if its said to be for her own good..
我还故意说因为考试而就没空。
i purposely say that its exam, i do not have time to meet her.
假到死~
so ...extremely fake.
是故意要彼此有那份距离感。
just purposely want to create the gap between us..
成功吗？
succeeded?
失败了？
or failed?
我也不懂。
i don't know myself?
只知道无意中，
cause all i know,
不管做什么，
no matter what i do,
都不懂是否应该如此。。
i just didn't know should or shouldn't

不懂该渴望什么。。
i don't know what should i actually hope for...

Wesak'09

2009-05-14T08:14:00.001-07:00

8th May, went to Brickfields for prayers.
Actually is two places.
i regretted for i didn't bring the camera.
all these are just from my phone.
XD
while we're waiting for our turn to get in...
i saw this boy.
XD
thats a napkin FYI..

i've actually wanted to update more,
but...
i'm thinking whether should i post it or not.
=p

really serious,
got to think few times~